Charles Bronson is the sort of person/vehicle a child would draw if they were asked to draw something that could pull a Tyrannosaurus Rex’s head off with its bare hands.
Talking of drawing ‘The Mirror’ newspaper reports that Britain’s most dangerous inmate recently went mental and took on nine officers from the prisons ‘Tornado’ response team after having his crayons confiscated.
The Tornado team deployed nine well trained officers with a ‘Death Wish’, decked out in head to toe body armour, armed with nine batons and a vat of pepper spray …….., Charles Bronson turned up to the battle naked… like you do, armed only with a tub of Utterly Butterly and enough hate to fill a Al-Qaeda suggestion box .
A prison officer on routine morning patrol alerted staff of his discovery, he said: “ I was doing my normal patrol and thought I could smell hot butter, my stomach growled, I thought that’s funny the canteens been closed for hours , I peered into the gym where the smell was emanating from, I was greeted by a naked Charles Bronson bending over a dumb dell set applying what looked like the last of a tub of Utterly Butterly to his buttocks, my stomach stopped growling and started turning as I knew we were in for a long lunch with plenty of knuckle sandwiches on the menu.
The battle reportedly lasted five hours, ‘The Mirror’ reported that Bronson is thought to have been protesting about a ban on receiving the materials he needs to do his art, the proceeds of his art help pay for his fees for his ongoing legal appeal, which will be ongoing a little bit more now.
In keeping with the TV trend for all things cookery Ive made a recipe that encapsulates the saga.
Here’s how to make a Buttery Bronson, be warned it’s potent and liable to take your mouth off:-
Ingredients:-
Take 120kg of notorious incarcerated prison hard man,
add 1 life sentence,
extract all art materials,
allow to simmer then just add butter.
Serving suggestions:-
Decorate gym with 9 or so guests armed for battle
Place a boiling Buttery Bronson amongst them.
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