The Dogs Bollocks Sunday 4 November 2012


Ive found myself watching ‘Dog The Bounty Hunter’ repeats and thought to myself why hasn’t anyone made a fragrance for Dog, he epitomizes everything a man should be, he is a modern day Tarzan in Cuban heel boots.

What I would give to have Dog call me ‘Bra’ and give me a ride in the SUV as he takes me in and share a cigarette with me. He is a proper man so much so that I saw him take his son Leyland on a fishing trip for his birthday, they were both topless and Leyland tried to hug his dad to say thanks but I could see Dog was uncomfortable with the closeness and made a point that at no time should their skin touch, Son or not that’s gay.

I have only ever doubted Dog once, in an episode which saw the team arrive on Honolulu’s Bronx estate, Dog sent Leyland to apprehend the criminal but his mates came out and as Leyland squirted cream or foam in their faces from his child like spray gun Dog made a run for the SUV that big boobs Beth was squeezed into, as Leyland took a kicking on the ground waiting for the eminent arrival of backup in the shape of Dog.

Dog had other ideas running away and screaming at Leyland to run and screaming at Beth to GO!, Seeing dog dive into the moving vehicle would have added to his air of masculinity had he not struggled to keep up with the vehicle and when Beth did brake for him to catch up he ended up upside down wedged face first in the footwell of the rear seats with his legs hanging out the car facing upwards towards the moon.

Despite that I can’t think of any place more manlier than Dogs jockstrap that thing should have dna extracted and pheromones and a team of L’Oreal scientists should synthetically recreate the odour and sell it to us as Dogs fragrance, ive already got the name for it an ad mans dream… The Dogs Bollocks!

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