Peter Andre may have been cryogenically frozen Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Peter Andre first visited these shores in 95’, he came bearing gifts, and Peter’s gift to us was the single ‘Mysterious Girl’, yes I know it’s like opening a Christmas present and finding a dead pet.

Then sometime in1998 he and his chip fat hair and original Greek nose departed these shores, he just simply disappeared and wasn’t seen again until a few years ago in the Australian jungle hunting and chasing the money, but caught the booby price……Jordan!

Peter hasn’t changed at all since the early days the only thing that has and does change is his haircuts and the amount of lardy arse brothers he has on the payroll….oh and that Greek nose had to go when it refused to let him sing through it anymore, it was replaced with a more agreeable one, one that would let every note flow through it instead of his mouth

Now after being treated like a dog with fleas by Katie Price his managed to work his way back into the nations heart and has given us ‘Peter Andre Here 2 Help’, yes his at it again with the gifts and just like back in 95’ it stinks like a dead pet.

Im holding out for an American Cryogenics company to admit that there was a meltdown due to power grid failure somewhere in Texas and Peter effectively escaped and isn’t due to be released until 2050, I want albeit a harmless face stuck in the 90’s put back in the freezer and any other Andre projects put on ice, as long as it’s not ‘Dancing on Ice’!