Telly’s Dominic Littlewood has gone into hiding since the news broke that a syndicate of cowboy builders have put a contract out on his head.
Dominic Littlewood’s spokesperson said :" Dominic’s very brave……….with a camera crew behind him that is, however this news has come as a bit of a surprise to both Dominic and I as we thought his public persona was that of a cheeky chappie doing good work in the community, turns out that hasn’t been translated through the lens and by all accounts his come across as a mouthy short arse who likes nothing more than to goad and be righteous".
Dominic has recently been described as what the late Kojaks penis would have been if it could have talked.
It’s known some of the BBC ‘Cowboy builders’ production team call him ‘Little Kojack’ his taken to sucking a lollipop and walking around the BBC corridors winking and quoting “Who loves ya baby” no ones had the heart to tell him the nickname is in reference to his likeness to Kojack’s willy and not the detective himself.
BBC Cowboy Builders producer said " If I had a pound for every time someone had called him a smug face cunt, I wouldn’t have to work with the gobby shite again ".
BBC Head of entertainment said “It’s true we have been tipped off that a price has been put on Dominic’s head ,we heard it was set at five thousand pounds and that the job would be done by next week, we now know its gone up to seventeen thousand as they have stumbled upon a few unforeseen problems.
The syndicate of cowboy builders seem to be stalling and now claim it can’t be done yet as the weather recently has been changeable but promised it will be any day now as they have something ‘concrete in the pipeline’, they have stopped answering our calls and emails, true to form they are reliably unreliable, were onto them and are preparing to send Dominic out to expose them.”
The syndicate of cowboy builders seem to be stalling and now claim it can’t be done yet as the weather recently has been changeable but promised it will be any day now as they have something ‘concrete in the pipeline’, they have stopped answering our calls and emails, true to form they are reliably unreliable, were onto them and are preparing to send Dominic out to expose them.”
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10 comments:
Ha
Ha
Ha
That's killed me off lol
Cowboy builders are scum and dominic has done a great job brining them to justice
As an ex shoddy car dealer, littlewood has got more front than harrods
Amusing indeed, he does come across as a bit of a wanker let's be honest, and I'm certain that without the camera crew and no doubt countless security personnel he wouldn't be such a 'brave' boy, and would of spent a lot of the program asleep on his back. What a tool.
One of these days he's gonna get a bit too close to somebody and that bald bonce will roll.
*you*
u say if he never had ppl behind him he would not give it but ur brave giving it behind a key bored lol least he is face to face sticking up for victims divs
Not as smug as that Matt Alwright or "Twat Notbright" as hes known since it was found his motorbike chauffeur was an illegal Brazilian. Whoops
Not as smug as that Matt Alwright or "Twat Notbright" as hes known since it was found his motorbike chauffeur was an illegal Brazilian. Whoops
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